I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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