whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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