she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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