whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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