I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
