Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
