Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
