Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
