You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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