Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Someone shit on the floor
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
