what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
