My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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