this boner is exhausting
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
