i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
