i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
