Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
