totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
