You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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