My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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