im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
