I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
