Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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