I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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