You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
