Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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