Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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