you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
