Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
