Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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