I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
