Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
