this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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