she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize