i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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