i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
