i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
where am i from again
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
