He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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