Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
