Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize