He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
