Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
