Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
