What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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