so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
