like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
