you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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