Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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