I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
