Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
