i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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