Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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