can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
