Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
