you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
