whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
