You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My balls are so social today.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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