My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
