I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
