Screwed.edu
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
