all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
