she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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