Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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