you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
