If that was your dad, he is hot
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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