I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
