She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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