A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
