OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
