The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
