And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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