Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
