Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
