just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
