youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
