My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I am mentally ready for anal.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
